Somewhere along the line, we were taught that being “positive” all the time is a virtue. That if we just think happy thoughts, everything will be fine. Smile through it. Look on the bright side. Be grateful. Don’t cry. Don’t complain, this is toxic positivity.

And while there’s nothing wrong with a little optimism, that kind of relentless cheerfulness?
That’s not healing. That’s exhausting.

That’s toxic positivity—and it’s quietly doing more harm than good.

What is toxic positivity?

Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how bad or painful something is, we must maintain a positive mindset. It dismisses real emotions and replaces them with surface-level affirmations.

It sounds like:

“Everything happens for a reason.”
“It could be worse.”
“Just stay positive!”
“Good vibes only.”

On the surface, it might seem harmless—even well-meaning. But when someone’s in the thick of grief, anxiety, burnout, or heartbreak, these phrases don’t feel supportive. They feel silencing. Like your pain isn’t allowed in the room.

Why is it harmful?

When we’re told to only be positive, we start to believe that feeling sad, angry, or overwhelmed is wrong. That we’re broken for struggling. That if we were just better, we wouldn’t feel this way.

It creates shame.
It isolates us.
And it disconnects us from our full human experience.

We’ve learned it is best to not gloss over the messy parts. We believe in meeting yourself where you are, even if that place is dark and uncomfortable.

Because pretending to be okay isn’t the same as healing.

The power of emotional honesty

True healing begins when we allow ourselves to feel everything—not just the “nice” emotions.
Grief has wisdom. Anger has clarity. Sadness brings softness.

Honouring your truth, even when it’s raw and hard, is the most sacred form of self-care.

We’re not here to tell you to be “high vibe” all the time.
We’re here to remind you that your wholeness is welcome. All of it.

What to say instead

If someone you love is struggling (or if you are), try gentle phrases like:
🌿 “It makes sense you feel this way.”
🌿 “That sounds really hard.”
🌿 “You don’t have to fix it. Just feel it.”
🌿 “I’m here, no matter what.”

Sometimes, holding space is more powerful than offering solutions.

Final Thoughts On Toxic Positivity

Life isn’t a constant upward spiral. It’s a wave.
Some days you glow. Other days you crumble.
And that’s okay. That’s human.

Remember that true healing honours all parts of the journey.
Not the filtered, perfected version—but the real one. The tender one.
The one that dares to show up, even with puffy eyes and a messy heart.

So if you’re not feeling “positive” today—welcome. You’re in sacred company.